Everyone is familiar with mother-in-law jokes. You know, the stuff that folks laugh at on sit-coms and other places. If you believe the jokes, mothers-in-law make outlaws look good, and the only thing worse is a trip to the dentist for a root canal, without any drugs. Well, I want everyone to know that my mother-in-law is NOTHING like the women you hear about in the jokes!
My mother-in-law is an amazing woman! She raised five children, a good part of it as a single mother! Each of her children graduated from college and are successful, kind people. Yes, of course I'm biased, but it is true.
The real reason my mother-in-law is an amazing woman, though, has less to do with what she has accomplished (which is noteworthy, indeed) and more to do with her heart. While we are very different people, my mother-in-law loves me just the way I am. It is difficult to put into words, but oh so precious in my heart.
Probably the biggest difference between me and my mother-in-law is that she plans ahead, and I don't. It isn't that I don't want to, I just don't get around to it. My mother-in-law is organized the way I want to be, but never quite seem to achieve. She is ready and prepared for almost everything, almost always. I, on the other hand, am rarely ready for anything, ever. I'm usually tieing up loose ends to the very last minute, with all the chaos and confusion it brings.
Here is where the amazing part comes in; my mother-law loves me anyway. She could look down her nose at the woman her son married and wonder why I don't shape up and fly right. She could let me know, either bluntly or subtly, that she wasn't sure I qualified to raise her grandchildren. Instead, she tells me she thinks I'm doing a great job! She encourages me and helps me grow. It is a gift I treasure and a blessing I thank Jesus for almost every day. It is such a gift, I had to share it! I have a wonderful mother-in-law!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Diapering Disaster
Last night, through the night, I got wet. My infant son was sleeping beside me so that I could more easily attend his needs; like Dr. Bill Sears, we have a "family" bed. It usually saves me trouble and allows me to get back to sleep quickly after 4 am feedings. Usually. Last night, I got wet. This morning, I had to change my pajamas, my pillowcases, and my sheets, because the reason I got wet was a leaky diaper.
I'm a mom. I've been changing diapers for 12 years, and with six kids, that's a lot of diapers. My oldest daughter, who has been around for most of those diaper changes, is a huge help at home. She can fix a simple meal if I need her to. She can run to the corner grocery or pick up mail. She can even watch her siblings for short periods, freeing me up to work on things she can't do. My oldest daughter has even changed her fair share of diapers over the years.
Last night, though, my oldest daughter was no diapering expert. She put the diaper on wrong! Somehow, she didn't get the diaper on straight or something, because the diaper stayed dry and everything around it got wet! You may be wondering why I didn't realize earlier in the night that I had a problem. Actually, I wonder that myself! When I finally discovered that the diaper was leaking, it was an "ah ha" moment. Unfortunately, that moment didn't come until my brain actually had the capacity to have such a realization and by then, the night was over and it was too late.
It could be worse; much worse. I could live some place without disposable diapers. I could lives somewhere without diapers. I could live some where without washing machines. So, in the grand scheme of things, if my oldest daughter isn't a diaper genie, I can live with it. What I can't live with is a world without children, even if it means my son soaks me instead of his diaper. There are much worse disasters.
I'm a mom. I've been changing diapers for 12 years, and with six kids, that's a lot of diapers. My oldest daughter, who has been around for most of those diaper changes, is a huge help at home. She can fix a simple meal if I need her to. She can run to the corner grocery or pick up mail. She can even watch her siblings for short periods, freeing me up to work on things she can't do. My oldest daughter has even changed her fair share of diapers over the years.
Last night, though, my oldest daughter was no diapering expert. She put the diaper on wrong! Somehow, she didn't get the diaper on straight or something, because the diaper stayed dry and everything around it got wet! You may be wondering why I didn't realize earlier in the night that I had a problem. Actually, I wonder that myself! When I finally discovered that the diaper was leaking, it was an "ah ha" moment. Unfortunately, that moment didn't come until my brain actually had the capacity to have such a realization and by then, the night was over and it was too late.
It could be worse; much worse. I could live some place without disposable diapers. I could lives somewhere without diapers. I could live some where without washing machines. So, in the grand scheme of things, if my oldest daughter isn't a diaper genie, I can live with it. What I can't live with is a world without children, even if it means my son soaks me instead of his diaper. There are much worse disasters.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Mommy: Its who I am.
I love being a mom; I really do. It has defined my life for the last 12 years, and will continue to do so to one degree or another for the rest of my days. Now, certain aspects of motherhood don't rate as highly on my list as others. Diaper duty is not a favorite. Cleaning up after children who have been sick with the flu definitely is not an activity I'd volunteer for outside of motherhood. Even the challenges associated with dressing and doing hair for five daughters is less than desirable in my mind. But, none of these challenges can outweigh the blessings and joy my children bring.
Recently I saw a mom who had two young children with her at the grocery store. The little girl, probably two, was cranky and fussing. When I commented to the mom that her little girl must by tired, trying to commiserate because I know what it is like to shop with a tired two year old, the poor woman was not encouraged. Her level of frustration and displeasure was so obvious it made my heart heavy. Parenting is never easy, but it doesn't have to be miserable! Children are a blessing from the Lord! Even challenging children (and I have a few) are blessings and bring joy!
Sometimes it can be difficult to see the joy. I've had days when Calgon couldn't take me far enough away! More than once I've wanted to hand in my resignation to anyone who would take it (no one would), feeling completley inadequate for the task of raising my children. Motherhood is not convenient. It requires giving more of myself than I knew I had to give, and it certainly doesn't work on my time schedule. But joy in motherhood abounds, if we just look.
I found joy recently in a hug from my three year old. As she wrapped her arms around me and put sticky fingers on my clean shirt she said, "Mommy, I love you sooo much." So the shirt had to go in the laundry. I have to do laundry anyway. I also found joy after a rare nap. While my husband and I were sleeping, our two oldest daughters were busy not sleeping. Instead, they set up a table in the Family Room (where we host large dinner parties - just push the couches out of the way), with places for two, and lit candles to eat by. It was wonderful. Now, dinner was not gourmet. It only consisted of one course, and it was a pretty simple course. But, my two oldest daughters worked together to give my husband and me a date. How much more precious can you get?! Focusing on the efforts to bless us, and not on the mess left behind in the kitchen or the candle wax on my linen table cloth made it possible to treasure the gift from our daughters.
Never having planned to have children, I know God laughs every day as He watches me function (barely) as the mother of six. Still, He has instilled in my heart a passion for being a mom that I never imagined I could have. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE having children. I even love what is required to have six children, though laundry will never be a favorite activity. If only more moms understood how precious their children are, and how quickly they will be gone; even toddlers who are hungry, tired and cranky.
Recently I saw a mom who had two young children with her at the grocery store. The little girl, probably two, was cranky and fussing. When I commented to the mom that her little girl must by tired, trying to commiserate because I know what it is like to shop with a tired two year old, the poor woman was not encouraged. Her level of frustration and displeasure was so obvious it made my heart heavy. Parenting is never easy, but it doesn't have to be miserable! Children are a blessing from the Lord! Even challenging children (and I have a few) are blessings and bring joy!
Sometimes it can be difficult to see the joy. I've had days when Calgon couldn't take me far enough away! More than once I've wanted to hand in my resignation to anyone who would take it (no one would), feeling completley inadequate for the task of raising my children. Motherhood is not convenient. It requires giving more of myself than I knew I had to give, and it certainly doesn't work on my time schedule. But joy in motherhood abounds, if we just look.
I found joy recently in a hug from my three year old. As she wrapped her arms around me and put sticky fingers on my clean shirt she said, "Mommy, I love you sooo much." So the shirt had to go in the laundry. I have to do laundry anyway. I also found joy after a rare nap. While my husband and I were sleeping, our two oldest daughters were busy not sleeping. Instead, they set up a table in the Family Room (where we host large dinner parties - just push the couches out of the way), with places for two, and lit candles to eat by. It was wonderful. Now, dinner was not gourmet. It only consisted of one course, and it was a pretty simple course. But, my two oldest daughters worked together to give my husband and me a date. How much more precious can you get?! Focusing on the efforts to bless us, and not on the mess left behind in the kitchen or the candle wax on my linen table cloth made it possible to treasure the gift from our daughters.
Never having planned to have children, I know God laughs every day as He watches me function (barely) as the mother of six. Still, He has instilled in my heart a passion for being a mom that I never imagined I could have. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE having children. I even love what is required to have six children, though laundry will never be a favorite activity. If only more moms understood how precious their children are, and how quickly they will be gone; even toddlers who are hungry, tired and cranky.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
One Day at a Time
Where does time go? It seems like only yesterday, I had three babies in diapers, and the mountain of laundry in my basement threatened to lift the house off its foundation! Some how, amidst the long days filled with tears and triumphs, dirty laundry, dishes, burned dinners or pots boiling over, girls with mismatched socks, or not socks because piles of unfolded laundry cluttered every piece of furniture in the family room, kids grew up.
I still have little kids, so life continues to be rather chaotic at times. But, most of my children can buckle their own seatbelts and get dressed by themselves. I change diapers for only one, and even have lots of help with that. Other people can do the dishes and put a load of clothes in the washer, so it frees me up to take care of other details, like working on my blogs. I still have little ones around, but recently I've begun to notice how short my time is with my older girls!
Not too long ago, someone made the statement that the days are long, but the years are short. It is SO true! This is not a new or profound statment, but when you begin to see the reality in your own life, suddenly it takes on a whole new significance. My children are growing, one day at a time.
The dishes are piling up, clutter still rules my laundry room and things I started before Christmas still aren't done. But instead of being anxious about things that won't matter in ten years, I am seeing how vital it is to enjoy making memories that will be precious for a lifetime. I still struggle with the ghost of June Cleaver, the phantom "perfect mother" who lives next door, and the tension of trying to keep a clean house while investing in the hearts of my children. But, each day that brings me closer to that perfect clean house also brings me closer to the empty house. And, just my older daughters "got big" somewhere along the way, all my children will leave home someday. If I can embrace the days, maybe the years won't fly by quite so fast.
I still have little kids, so life continues to be rather chaotic at times. But, most of my children can buckle their own seatbelts and get dressed by themselves. I change diapers for only one, and even have lots of help with that. Other people can do the dishes and put a load of clothes in the washer, so it frees me up to take care of other details, like working on my blogs. I still have little ones around, but recently I've begun to notice how short my time is with my older girls!
Not too long ago, someone made the statement that the days are long, but the years are short. It is SO true! This is not a new or profound statment, but when you begin to see the reality in your own life, suddenly it takes on a whole new significance. My children are growing, one day at a time.
The dishes are piling up, clutter still rules my laundry room and things I started before Christmas still aren't done. But instead of being anxious about things that won't matter in ten years, I am seeing how vital it is to enjoy making memories that will be precious for a lifetime. I still struggle with the ghost of June Cleaver, the phantom "perfect mother" who lives next door, and the tension of trying to keep a clean house while investing in the hearts of my children. But, each day that brings me closer to that perfect clean house also brings me closer to the empty house. And, just my older daughters "got big" somewhere along the way, all my children will leave home someday. If I can embrace the days, maybe the years won't fly by quite so fast.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The miracle of life
You'd think that as the mother of six children, the miracle of life would be old hat. After all, I've experienced the process a few times already. Yet, somehow each baby that I hold in my arms is more a miracle than the last. Perhaps the reason is related to being pregnant four different times when I didn't hold a baby in my arms and watching the death of my younger sister. Life is very fragile. It truly is a miracle and cannot be taken for granted.
Perhaps part of the reason I'm so in awe of the baby I hold in my arms each day is because he is a boy. Honestly, though, I don't think that is the reason. Most of my pregnancy, I battled fear; fear that the baby slowing being knit together "in secret" would not actually live to be born. Even up to delivery, the nagging fear that life would be stolen from this precious child in my womb tempered my excitement. Now, though I am not guaranteed a long life for my son, or even for my five daughters, the fear is gone. In it's place is a wonder and sense of awe. This little person, so distinct and different from me, came from me. Wow.
God is so amazing. He created the miracle of life, and yet somehow I think even He is caught up in the wonder of His creation. Not only did God create the miracle of life, He watched His Son, Jesus, be born as a baby. He watched with delight as Jesus grew into a man, then He pronounced His blessing at Jesus' baptism, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Who among us wouldn't be encouraged to hear such words coming out of the mouth of our father, good man or not?
Life is a precious gift. It is a miracle to get pregnant and a miracle when a baby is born. Well do I know that a positive pregnancy test doesn't guarantee a wee one to hold nine months later. When God's gift results in pregnancy and that pregnancy ends with a healthy baby, it truly is a miracle. A miracle of life.
Perhaps part of the reason I'm so in awe of the baby I hold in my arms each day is because he is a boy. Honestly, though, I don't think that is the reason. Most of my pregnancy, I battled fear; fear that the baby slowing being knit together "in secret" would not actually live to be born. Even up to delivery, the nagging fear that life would be stolen from this precious child in my womb tempered my excitement. Now, though I am not guaranteed a long life for my son, or even for my five daughters, the fear is gone. In it's place is a wonder and sense of awe. This little person, so distinct and different from me, came from me. Wow.
God is so amazing. He created the miracle of life, and yet somehow I think even He is caught up in the wonder of His creation. Not only did God create the miracle of life, He watched His Son, Jesus, be born as a baby. He watched with delight as Jesus grew into a man, then He pronounced His blessing at Jesus' baptism, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Who among us wouldn't be encouraged to hear such words coming out of the mouth of our father, good man or not?
Life is a precious gift. It is a miracle to get pregnant and a miracle when a baby is born. Well do I know that a positive pregnancy test doesn't guarantee a wee one to hold nine months later. When God's gift results in pregnancy and that pregnancy ends with a healthy baby, it truly is a miracle. A miracle of life.
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