Thankful for the Tears

My youngest son has probably spent more of his short life crying than any of my other children. As his ability to deal with life improves and the amount of time he spends crying becomes less, I'm incredibly thankful for the change. It has been slow in coming, and, after a year, well over-due.

He started out crying...

And he kept crying... that is why we don't have many photos

Recently, though, I was reminded of just how wonderful a crying baby really is. You see, only healthy babies cry. Babies who are sick are generally too sick to cry; the sicker they are, the quieter they become. And, only babies who are very much alive can cry; graves (and those in them) are silent.





Orphanages, I've been told, can be silent too, but for a much different reason. Orphans learn very quickly; their tears are silenced by neglect. If no one comes, if no one cares, why invest the energy to cry. The emotional scars may never heal.

Thankfully, my son's cries have not been silenced, either by neglect, death, or serious illness. He is very much alive, and very vocal about his needs, knowing that his cries will be heard by someone who cares.

If you are struggling with a fussy baby, don't lose heart! Fussy babies (whether you have a high-needs baby, a baby with colic, or a refluxer) are incredibly challenging. But, at least they are alive. And that is definitely better than the alternative.

Isn't he cute?

Reflux

I have joined the ranks of mothers wrestling with a baby who has reflux. This is my eighth baby, so it actually took a while longer to recognize the problems and get some help. You'd think it would be the opposite! But, I know babies spit up. And I know babies cry. So when my new son was doing both in excess, I just figured he was a little fussier and spittier than others. Until it went on for seven weeks.

Honestly, I felt silly taking my otherwise healthy son to the doctor because he cried so much. So I called one of my best friends (who is a PA-C) to see if it was crazy to see the doctor. She said no, not at all. So, we went to see the doctor.

The doctor, an older gentleman with grandkids, prescribed a medication that has some success helping with colic, ordered an upper G.I., and told me I needed to get two hours away from my son's crying every day. I couldn't take care of any of my children if I was completely spent from the anxiety and stress of not being able to soothe my little guy.

The test showed a normal anatomy, so my son projectile spitting wasn't a result of pyloric stenosis. It also showed severe reflux. I now had a reason for my son's constant crying, especially in his swing or car seat! But, I didn't have any answers.

We have been a quite a journey. After the diagnosis of reflux, our doctor gave us a stronger protien pump inhibitor, which has been helpful. I also began scouring the internet for information. Unfortunately, my search was not initially successful or encouraging. A variety of perspectives and thoughts, at times conflicting, gave me a sense of discouragement. It seemed that allergies are often a cause of reflux, so I wanted to try an elimination diet, but how long should I eliminate foods? The answers weren't forthcoming.

When my son started chocking and not breathing, I called my doctor back again. He sent us to a pediatric gastroenterologist. That didn't give me much more information, though the specialist did schedule a gastric emptying test and give me a sample of hypoallergenic formula to try, to see if the problem was an allergy to breast milk.

It wasn't until I found http://www.pollywogbaby.com/ that I started getting answers, and some hope. We don't know yet if this problem is simply gastro-esophogeal reflux (GER) or gastro-esophogeal reflux disease (GERD), but the information on the pollywog site has been tremendously helpful. The site has a store with products designed to treat the causes of reflux, not simply the symptoms, and has links to other sites where you can learn about elmination diets (even a plan for an elimination diet, with basic instructions), read articles by moms who have survived caring for children with GER and GERD, and just find hope. If you are struggling with reflux in a little one, please do yourself and your family a favor and check out http://www.pollywogbaby.com/!