Streams in the Desert

Isaiah 35:4-7 is a familiar passage. I have heard it before, probably many times. But for some reason it leapt off the page at me when I read it a few days ago. In the English Standard Version, it reads "Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not! Your God will come...He will come and save you...For waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; the burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water..."


It is kind of funny; I don't usually picture streams in deserts. They are dry, dusty places, without much rain (the qualification as a "desert" is based on rainfall, or the lack of it) and long distances between pools. Oases exist, but they are not common. And God is speaking to a people who understand deserts. The picture He paints is very clear, and powerful; God will save His people, and the desert in which they find themselves will be transformed. Wow; what an amazing picture!!

For me, the even more amazing part is that I've been experiencing it lately. God has not left me alone in this desert sojourn. Many wonderful people have come alongside me, through prayer, and other more practical methods (thank you Erica and Cynde). A dear friend, who does prayer counseling, spent an afternoon with me recently, and it was incredibly powerful. Since that time, my experience has been more like walking by the streams of living water than stumbling through a dry, dusty desert.

The funny part is, my life hasn't really changed. In addition to my two special-needs kids, one of my girls recently broke her ankle, for the second time in six months ( just weeks after corrective surgery!) and has some serious dietary deficiencies (she may also need major surgery on both her ankles), I spent the night (literally) in the ER with my five year old, and my oldest daughter apparently needs surgery to correct hip dysplasia. The saga with our youngest continues; a possible immune deficiency and allergies to common foods (dairy and eggs) have further complicated an already challenging situation. Yet, God is providing me with streams in this desert!

Don't get me wrong; my days are not full of beautiful scenes fit to inspire Norman Rockwell paintings. Laundry still piles up along the streams in my desert, and I get so tired of kids crying. Dinner still has to be set on the table (which requires making it, ahead of time), toilets still need to be cleaned, and mildew still grows in my shower. But, God is caring for me in the midst of this crazy time. He is tending my heart, bringing encouragement, and helping me see that I'm not alone, even when it feels like I am. This journey is still lonely, but I realize that the trail God has set before me parallels a stream, His stream, and from it I can draw refreshment, take courage, and journey for another day.

Yes, They Are All Mine

For years, I've admired the little stick figure stickers you see on the backs of vehicles. You know, the little sandals, or sea turtles; those kind of cute little stick figure drawings that tell you how many people are in the family. They are so cute and fun, proudly proclaiming to the world how many blessings you have in your family.



And, for years, I've wanted those cute stickers.




But, they are quite frivolous, and (to someone who is very practical) completely unnecessary. So, I have admired those stickers, but haven't been willing to invest in them. My girls noticed my interest, and conspired to bless me for Mother's Day.

Applying the stickers, of course, was a family affair.

First, we started with Mom and Dad...

Then we had to decide what order the rest of the family should go in. Since we had five girls before we had any boys, I didn't want people to be confused about multiples. So, we settled on alternating young kids with big kids, like this...

Finally, everyone was in their rightful place, with a little room to spare, prompting one of the girls to proclaim, "Look, Mom. We have room for more kids."

If you look closely, you'll notice the cat's tail is short and the dog is missing one leg; the girls wanted to be as authentic as possible.

Oh my goodness, you should see the looks we've gotten on the interstate! People starring as they go by, craning their necks around to get a clear view of the person driving, as though perhaps they would see something other than a human being. One woman, so I've been told, mouthed the words, "Wow" as she drove by. It has been quite entertaining, actually. We have enjoyed quite a bit of comic relief, laughing out loud on more than one occasion, thoroughly enjoying the "notoriety" our little stick figure stickers are bringing.

Now, to answer the obvious question; a sticker that says, "Yes, they are all mine." 

Blooming in the Desert

The desert is home to many creatures. Depending on your view of evolution, you may believe those creatures slowly adapted to their hostile environment over time. Or, you may believe (as I do) that God created desert creatures to not only survive, but thrive, in a seemingly inhospitable environ.

Regardless of how the desert-dwellers became such, they have embraced the desert as their home. And, to them, it is home; comfortable, familiar, safe.

I am beginning to recognize that my sojourn in the desert will be longer than I expected. A dose of much needed reality was handed to me (quite gently) recently; the challenges I'm facing are not short-term, acute issues. They are long-term, chronic, never-gonna-go-away challenges that redefine normal and force me to (yet again) adjust expectations. The challenges being faced by my precious little ones aren't significant, in the grand world of "special needs." Milestones aren't being missed by much. But, they are being missed and that reality requires adjustment.

The amazing lesson I am learning, however, is that the desert really can be home. It can be familiar, even comfortable. Rest and refreshment, so difficult to find, so overwhelming look for at the beginning of the journey, have some how become not such a burden. The quiet can be peaceful rather than lonely, and the isolation helps draw attention to the incredible value of those friends who have stuck around.

A desert journey is not what I would choose. My preference is for mountain tops and secluded valleys, snow capped peaks or wooded glens; fresh water, clear air, and plenty of easy-to-aquire food. Rarely have I looked back on such experiences, though, with a deeper, stronger appreciation for the God I love and serve. The times in my life when I have learned the most about God (His faithfulness, His love, His righteousness) have been the times when He has been with me through the desert.

Surprisingly, I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade what God is teaching me for an easier journey. I wish my children had an easier journey, but even that is a source of praise to my great God; they are home with me and I can help them prepare for their own desert adventure. Jesus said that we would have troubles in this life. Then He gave the admonition not to fear, for He had overcome the world. What a great comfort.

Someone gave me the admonition (and challenge) to bloom where I have been planted. So, by God's grace, that is what I will do, right here in the middle of my desert.

Not Again...

Having parented toddlers for the last sixteen years, I have learned a thing or two about how they behave. I know, for instance, that I am bigger and stronger, so if they have a tantrum, I don't  care. I know that intentional training in the early years will make life much easier later. And I know that kids LOVE to play with dog food and water.

Having enjoyed an extended interlude since our last child found eau d'pooch so enticing, I was not prepared for the discovery I made while preparing dinner recently; my youngest  child savoring the flavor of dog food and mixing said food in the dog water.

Since I know this is a temporary stage, instead of cleaning up right away, I grabbed my camera, so I could share the humor with the world (or at least the one or two people who may read my blog). Here, for your viewing enjoyment, is my son in all his glory...




Here is baby J, enjoying the dog food just a little too much.

Hey, Mom, look what I'm doing.



See what I did? I put dog food in there. Pretty cool, huh?

I love this little man (even though he created a big mess to clean up); with all the challenges he has faced, it is kind of fun to have him acting like a normal baby. 

Taking the Next Step (through the desert)

Someone asked me recently how my day was going. The question caught me unprepared; I honestly didn't know. But, the question got me thinking; how was my day going? So, I stopped to think about it. Kids were crying, but only one at a time. My son was asleep (and he doesn't sleep well at all), I'd started a load of laundry, dressed and changed two kids, put out a fire (literally), and fed my kids. Plus, my hubby was coming home that night, and I had recovered from being sick. So, at that point, it had been a good day.  Unfortunately, things went downhill at that point.

Though it isn't worth detailing, I was discouraged and downtrodden, beat down by the daily battle to raise eight children (two with developmental delays), manage a busy home, and keep my mind. The lure to just stop was very tempting, though all my attempts to submit a resignation have been futile; God doesn't work that way.

So, I got back on my feet and took one more step. Taking that step was huge; my situation didn't change, but my attitude did. And, I could again look back over the day and focus on the highlights, realizing that even with the challenges and difficulties, the highlights outweighed the low points, and I really did have a good day.

Sometimes the hardest part of parenting, or life, is to take that next step, the one that comes after falling down AGAIN! Instead of focusing on the failures and falls, choosing to focus on the successes, no matter how small they may seem. So, I'm choosing to celebrate the successes (kids got three meals, some laundry did get done, and everyone got dressed before the day was over) in spite of what seems like overwhelming failures. According to some wise person (on a card I once read), Success is "getting up once oftener than you fall down." At least for now, by that definition, I'm choosing success.