Ladies' First

As the mother of a son, I am trying diligently to instill in him the virtues of being a gentleman. But, he is three, so my goal is more long-term. If I am diligent, then maybe by the time he starts dating, he'll be prepared for the rules of engagement with the opposite sex. Obviously, I want him to recognize that hitting and biting are not ok, and that (in spite of our cultural tendancy towards the opposite) he should let girls go first.

Well, I have proof that some of my training has at least begun to sink in. As you will see in a few minutes, however, a bit of additional instruction is needed.

Recently my son and his next older sister (who is almost exactly three years older) were playing in the living room. As normally happens, my precious six year old provoked her brother until he hit her. To hopefully discourage such behavior in the future, both children got in trouble.

As the three of us walked together into the kitchen for consequences to be administered, my son, who was in front, piped up. With pleading eyes and in a sweet, somewhat desperate though very sincere voice he said "Mommy. Mommy, wait...Ladies' first."

It was very difficult not to burst out laughing! The poor little guy was so sincere! And he really was trying to apply the lessons his mother had been teaching him. Something had sunk in. Obviously, however, we need to modify the training this future man has been receiving.

The Power of a Hug

Today has been a rather exasperating day; lots of kids crying, lots of arguments, big kids needing big kid stuff, little kids needing little kid stuff, and Mom has to fix everything. Ugh. It has been a long day, we just made it to lunch!!

But, amidst the tears and trauma, drama and disasters, one of my kids came and gave me a big hug. No reason - they just loved their mama and wanted me to know. Before that hug, I was in desperate need of a Calgon escape and might have considered letting my kids go join the circus. Afterwards, though, Calgon no longer needed to take me away, and no circus master was gonna have the opportunity to look twice at my kids! I was renewed by the power of a hug.

My husband knows the same power. He found me trying to dig out from under the clutter in the pantry. Knowing how frustrated I get with the pantry's tendancy towards breeding chaos, he smiled at me (he has a great smile) and called me to him, then wrapped me in a wonderfully relaxing, soothing, and nurturing hug. The craziness of the pantry suddenly didn't seem so overwhelming. Actually, all the problems of my day got smaller. All because of the power of a hug.

It really is Rocket Science

Recently, I've heard the phrase, "It isn't rocket science" several times. It has always occurred when someone was talking about a topic that didn't seem difficult. Yet, in spite of the apparent simplicity of the topic, not that many people truly excelled. Football coaching is one recent example. Administrating a small volunteer organization was another. Effectively communicating and parenting were thrown in as well.

None of the topics seemed terribly difficult. The basics of football are the same whether you are coaching grade school kids, or leading a team to the Super Bowl. Football is football. You can fill in the blank, but most tasks are really the same; every one has access to the same basic pool of information. Somehow, though, certain people excel, and others either get by, or crash and burn in failure.

So, what is the key? Honestly, I don't know. The conclusion I've drawn, however, is that rocket science (or brain surgery), are pretty straight forward. They may be complicated and difficult, but certain aspects can actually be easy. The anatomy and physiology of the brain are a constant, making it easy to know what or what not to do (like what you don't want to cut). Though I don't know for sure, I'm guessing that certain aspects of rocket science also contain constants. It is, after all, a science. If you mix the wrong compounds, the rocket won't get into space, but pieces of you might. And, if you don't have the math right(which is very exact), you will definitely be very sorry.

Parenting, on the other hand, or coaching (or leading in any situation, really), is much more of an art than a science. There are some basic truths, but how to apply them can be a huge mystery. So, the next time you think, "Well, how hard can this be? It isn't rocket science!" remember that while rocket science is difficult, it is a science. Life is not. It is much more difficult!

Homelessness

I'm a mama. I have a mama's heart, and my mama's heart is breaking as the "homeless" cease to be easily dismissed nameless, faceless old men with signs on the side of the road and become people with names, and faces, and stories. This transformation has come as a result of serving lunch at the local Union Gospel Mission twice a month with my children. Everyone of the people I've see at in the lunch line were tiny newborn babies once, just as precious the babies I've held in my arms.

Homelessness is a hot topic. Many people have strong opinions on what the causes are and what should be done about "the problem." Most everyone in America has driven past a homeless beggar holding a sign, usually on a freeway on-ramp or off-ramp. And the problem seems to be getting worse.

We struggle with the question; should we give homeless people money, or not? If we do, how do we know they won't use it to buy drugs or alcohol? If we don't, how do we deal with that nagging voice in our head? A few years ago, the local news station did an investigative report on street beggars, revealing that they can actually make hundreds of dollars a day. So, do they really need the money or are we being scammed?!


Picture holding a precious baby in your arms. Now, picture that baby all grown up, hungry, cold, and alone in a very dangerous and hostile world, homeless. Is that a life you want for your children? Is it the life their mamas wanted for them?


The way I look at Scripture, the homeless are our neighbors. We're supposed to love them as we love ourselves, and I doubt anyone reading this blog would choose to be homeless and hungry if they had an option. How will you answer the question, "If I were homeless, how would I want to be treated?" For me, it means packing up my kids and driving down to the mission to devote some time to serve lunch with a smile and kind word. I don't know what it means to you, but my challenge to you is; think about it.

The Power of Example, part II

I only have one three year old son. As the only son, he is very interested in copying his daddy, which I totally understand and appreciate. He wants to be with his daddy; he wants to do what his daddy does.

Tonight, as I was helping him get ready for bed, I noticed that my son had a certain faintly familiar aroma. It smelled vaguely like my husband's deodorant. When I asked my son if he'd used his daddy's deodorant, it was obvious that my question made no sense. So, I investigated.

Sure enough, my son's armpits smelled just like his daddy's deodorant! My son, though no where near old enough to need deodorant, had copied his daddy by putting it on. Obviously there is a little something lacking in the copying, because Daddy doesn't usually put deodorant on at night, but who pays attention to such things when you are only three?

It was so cute and I, of course, burst out laughing. My son responded appropriately, grinning and looking shy (like he does whenever he isn't sure what is going on but definitely likes the attention) but obviously pleased with himself and my response. I'm afraid I've created a monster; as the sixth of seven children, he'll do just about anything for attention! But, whatever happens, I'm pretty sure he'll smell good =>