As a mother of many between the ages of 2 weeks and 13 years, I have lots of experience with the adventures of parenting. Until recently, though, I had very little gray hair. Unfortunately, I don't have any secrets to share about why my hair wasn't gray because I don't know why it wasn't. But, do notice the tense on the verb in the last sentence, "wasn't." The reason for the past tense is that recently, I've noticed several gray hairs. Other people, including my children, have noticed as well. And, I'm going to let you in on the little secret for why those gray hairs are cropping up all of a sudden.
Doctors may have more scientific methods of solving problems, but I'm convinced; the reason for my gray hair is allowing my oldest daughter to buy gerbils. If it was only having gerbils in our house, it probably wouldn't be too big a deal and it wouldn't be causing me too much stress. But, in addition to my thirteen year old daughter, who is very responsible and completely capable of caring for gerbils, I have a two-year old boy. He really likes gerbils.
Something I've learned about two-year old boys; they are not very gentle. Actually, they don't even know what the word "gentle" means. I'm not sure their brains are capable of understanding it! What I do know is that two-year old boys can be very hazardous to the health of small, cute, fragile gerbils. Thanks to the diligence of my oldest daughter, nothing has happened to the gerbils she worked so hard to get. We've taken extra precautions to make sure the youngest male in our house doesn't have unsupervised visits with the gerbils, including multiple locks on his sister's door. Unfortunately, those actions were not taken early enough to protect my hair color; I've started going gray!
The Bible says that gray hair is noble, an indication of honor and character, and in many ways a good thing to have. It is a new experience for me, and I'm not above turning the clock back with a little help from a box. But, if you are looking to have that sophisticated mature appearance so highly spoken of in Proverbs, one quick way to get it is to have a two-year old boy and a gerbil in the same house.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Unexpected costs of a large family
As the mother of six, I understand very well that large families are expensive. It costs more to feed them, to clothe them, and to get into a theater or zoo. We have to drive a bigger car with enough seats for everyone, so we have to spend more on gas. And, a large family requires more time, for everything from eating breakfast to getting the laundry done.
Because of the size of our family and our donation-based income, we are very careful with finances. It is a good thing right now, because we're not feeling the economic crunch too much. We never go out to eat, so we can't really cut back on that. We don't travel during the holidays (and our family is all in town), and have been watching mileage for years, so we can't really cut back on driving. We don't spend much money on various forms of entertainment (the last movie my family went to see was "Prince Caspian" and it was the only movie we went to last year), so we can't really cut back on that. The only domestic help I have is what my children give me. They are VERY helpful, but at this point they are still in "training" and I can afford to invest the time to train them.
Over all, we do pretty well managing finances, especially considering our large family. One area, though, no one warned me to watch out for, and that is postage. When you have a large family, especially one with lots of girls, you tend to have lots of relationships. Now, don't get me wrong; I want my children to have friends. And, since we've moved recently, my girls all want to stay in touch with the friends they left behind.
It isn't quite the same to send or receive e-mail, as convenient as it may be. Nothing compares to the thrill of opening the mailbox and finding a personal letter with your name on it. So, my girls all like to write letters. And, those letters require stamps. When you multiply 43 cents by five girls who average up to a letter a week, it adds up quickly! Instead of planning ahead for college, we have to figure out creative ways to fund the "mail habit" so we can continue to pay for postage.
Because of the size of our family and our donation-based income, we are very careful with finances. It is a good thing right now, because we're not feeling the economic crunch too much. We never go out to eat, so we can't really cut back on that. We don't travel during the holidays (and our family is all in town), and have been watching mileage for years, so we can't really cut back on driving. We don't spend much money on various forms of entertainment (the last movie my family went to see was "Prince Caspian" and it was the only movie we went to last year), so we can't really cut back on that. The only domestic help I have is what my children give me. They are VERY helpful, but at this point they are still in "training" and I can afford to invest the time to train them.
Over all, we do pretty well managing finances, especially considering our large family. One area, though, no one warned me to watch out for, and that is postage. When you have a large family, especially one with lots of girls, you tend to have lots of relationships. Now, don't get me wrong; I want my children to have friends. And, since we've moved recently, my girls all want to stay in touch with the friends they left behind.
It isn't quite the same to send or receive e-mail, as convenient as it may be. Nothing compares to the thrill of opening the mailbox and finding a personal letter with your name on it. So, my girls all like to write letters. And, those letters require stamps. When you multiply 43 cents by five girls who average up to a letter a week, it adds up quickly! Instead of planning ahead for college, we have to figure out creative ways to fund the "mail habit" so we can continue to pay for postage.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Budget Breakthrough
My husband and I serve with a non-profit organization in the US. Our paychecks come from donations and because we would much rather help people understand how they can know God personally than anything else, finances are usually tight. We've budgeted for years, operating on an envelope system (when the envelope is empty, you can't spend anymore) and paying cash for whatever we buy, including cars, doing without what most Americans consider necessities. It hasn't been too bad; we live very simply and are mostly content with the simplicity.
I must be honest, I do get frustrated with having to always be so careful with every penny, especially when it doesn't seem to make any difference at all. We've been married for 14 years and on staff with the non-profit organization for most of that time, so finances have been tight for a long time. I've learned lots about being frugal, and how important quality is to successfully practicing a frugal lifestyle. I've learned the value of a dollar; a lesson I did not learn at home or when working as an RN in the hospital. The lessons are good, but it doesn't seem to matter what I've learned, we never get ahead.
This week, though, I've been greatly encouraged with the benefits of our budgeting. We're buying a house! It is a fixer-upper that lacks all major appliances except a vintage 1951 stove. The carpets are going to be ripped out as soon as we get keys. So, I went shopping (not a favorite past time) to find a refridgerator, a dishwasher and new flooring. At the end of the day, I'd spent more money than I usually spend in three months but scored fantastic deals that will bless our family every time we use them and will add value to the home when we get ready to sell. Knowing that our previous frugality made it possible to make those purchases helped me see; being careful WAS paying off! We're getting ready to move into a house that we'd never be able to buy if we hadn't budgeted for so long. It is exciting, and as I walk through the door, I'll be reminded of the value of budgeting.
I must be honest, I do get frustrated with having to always be so careful with every penny, especially when it doesn't seem to make any difference at all. We've been married for 14 years and on staff with the non-profit organization for most of that time, so finances have been tight for a long time. I've learned lots about being frugal, and how important quality is to successfully practicing a frugal lifestyle. I've learned the value of a dollar; a lesson I did not learn at home or when working as an RN in the hospital. The lessons are good, but it doesn't seem to matter what I've learned, we never get ahead.
This week, though, I've been greatly encouraged with the benefits of our budgeting. We're buying a house! It is a fixer-upper that lacks all major appliances except a vintage 1951 stove. The carpets are going to be ripped out as soon as we get keys. So, I went shopping (not a favorite past time) to find a refridgerator, a dishwasher and new flooring. At the end of the day, I'd spent more money than I usually spend in three months but scored fantastic deals that will bless our family every time we use them and will add value to the home when we get ready to sell. Knowing that our previous frugality made it possible to make those purchases helped me see; being careful WAS paying off! We're getting ready to move into a house that we'd never be able to buy if we hadn't budgeted for so long. It is exciting, and as I walk through the door, I'll be reminded of the value of budgeting.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Secret to Success
I have figured out the secret to my success as a domestic engineer/family manager/mom and wife. Admittedly, some people will question whether I'm being successful (and I'm often one of those people) but I had an epiphany that just had to be shared. This may not make sense at first, but hang in there with me because (I hope) it will.
We've all heard that failure is the key to success. Successful people fail, sometimes many times and miserably. But, what makes them successful is that they don't give up. Successful people don't discount themselves as failures because they make a mistake. They simply try again. The old adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" seems to characterize most successful people. Thomas Edison, not to belabor the point too much, is reported to have said (in response to how he felt about failing so many times before fining something that worked for the light bulb), "I didn't fail, I simply discovered (however many different ways) that didn't work." You might say, as I have before, that it is a matter of perspective.
Well, tonight, as I was getting ready to tumble into bed, I noticed clothes on my clothes line. Since it was after dark and I was already in pajamas, I decided it was too late to worry about it and we'd take care of it in the morning. Then I started thinking of all the ways I fail as a mom. I could list them for you, but it would get boring quickly. Anyway, I realized that the reason I keep trying at this task set before me is that I recognize that I'm a failure, in MANY ways. Again, I could list them, but you would probably be thinking of your own list anyway. If you want to get right down to it, all of us fail; the Bible says so and I don't anyone really disagrees.
Isn't great that entrance into Heaven is not dependent on our perfection? I'm especially grateful, since I'm so VERY far from being perfect! Psalm 103:8, one of my favorite verses, says "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." His patience, graciousness and compassion make it possible for me to keep failing without giving up. Later in the same Psalm it says that God knows how weak we are (He should since He created us). He has made provision for our weakness through His Son, Jesus Christ. That is the reason that I can be "successful," at least as far as not giving up on being a mom. My precious Savior, Jesus, loves me in spite of my failings (of which there are MANY), He accepts me and gives me what it takes to put one foot after the other, even on days when my laundry still hangs on the line as I get into bed.
We've all heard that failure is the key to success. Successful people fail, sometimes many times and miserably. But, what makes them successful is that they don't give up. Successful people don't discount themselves as failures because they make a mistake. They simply try again. The old adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" seems to characterize most successful people. Thomas Edison, not to belabor the point too much, is reported to have said (in response to how he felt about failing so many times before fining something that worked for the light bulb), "I didn't fail, I simply discovered (however many different ways) that didn't work." You might say, as I have before, that it is a matter of perspective.
Well, tonight, as I was getting ready to tumble into bed, I noticed clothes on my clothes line. Since it was after dark and I was already in pajamas, I decided it was too late to worry about it and we'd take care of it in the morning. Then I started thinking of all the ways I fail as a mom. I could list them for you, but it would get boring quickly. Anyway, I realized that the reason I keep trying at this task set before me is that I recognize that I'm a failure, in MANY ways. Again, I could list them, but you would probably be thinking of your own list anyway. If you want to get right down to it, all of us fail; the Bible says so and I don't anyone really disagrees.
Isn't great that entrance into Heaven is not dependent on our perfection? I'm especially grateful, since I'm so VERY far from being perfect! Psalm 103:8, one of my favorite verses, says "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." His patience, graciousness and compassion make it possible for me to keep failing without giving up. Later in the same Psalm it says that God knows how weak we are (He should since He created us). He has made provision for our weakness through His Son, Jesus Christ. That is the reason that I can be "successful," at least as far as not giving up on being a mom. My precious Savior, Jesus, loves me in spite of my failings (of which there are MANY), He accepts me and gives me what it takes to put one foot after the other, even on days when my laundry still hangs on the line as I get into bed.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
After baby bodies
As the mother of six children, I know a little about how babies change bodies. Parts of me will never be the same again! So, it was not with a little interest that I noticed a story on mothers having plastic surgery to regain their pre-baby bodies. Part of me was curious; just what could be done? Part of me, though, was sad, and a little frustrated with plastic surgeons.
The part of me that was curious got pretty obvious answers pretty quickly; surgeons can augment things that have shrunk and shrink things that have gotten bigger, suck out fat from places no self-respecting woman wants fat and put it back where any self-respecting woman knows it goes.
I didn't get any hints as to a dollar amount such surgery must translate into, but you know it has to be expensive and I'm pretty sure insurance won't pay for it. The dollar amount is also the reason I'm a little frustrated with plastic surgeons. We already have enough problems with airbrushed supermodels setting an impossible standard; we don't need rich surgeons getting richer from our artifically induced insecurities!
The part of me that was sad, though, was sad because of what this new trend says about our culture and how much (or little) we truly value moms. I've had six children, and like I said, parts of me will never be the same. My 5' almost 11" frame won't see the inside of my size 10 wedding dress ever again. I probably won't see the inside of a size 10 period. My hips and my feet both are much wider than they used to be, and no plastic surgeon is going to be able to help that.
Parts of me are much smaller than before I had children. Other parts have folds that haven't gone away in spite of regular daily sit ups. Yet, my husband tells me how beautiful he thinks I am and how much he enjoys the parts that are smaller and the parts that aren't. I've never felt insecure or ugly because of what happened to my body as a result of becoming a mom. Indeed, I consider it a tremendous privilege and know many women who would give almost anything to see what their post-baby body would look like because they can't have children.
Perhaps we need a gentle reminder that life brings change. For any of us who live into old age, gravity will not be thwarted; we will have parts that sag and bag, with or without plastic surgery. We can do some things to help, to be sure, but nothing can stop the march of time. And perhaps such a goal is misdirected. The hand who rocks the cradle, it is said, is the hand who rules the world. Mothers of all sizes rock cradles holding future presidents, priests and kings. Women who mother children are beautiful, not because of what size they wear or how quickly they fit back into their pre-pregnancy clothes, but because of WHO they are and WHAT they are doing!! Perhaps the best thing we can do for post-baby body blues is not to turn to plastic surgeons, but to re-evaluate what we see as beautiful and to remember what a gift being a mother really is.
The part of me that was curious got pretty obvious answers pretty quickly; surgeons can augment things that have shrunk and shrink things that have gotten bigger, suck out fat from places no self-respecting woman wants fat and put it back where any self-respecting woman knows it goes.
I didn't get any hints as to a dollar amount such surgery must translate into, but you know it has to be expensive and I'm pretty sure insurance won't pay for it. The dollar amount is also the reason I'm a little frustrated with plastic surgeons. We already have enough problems with airbrushed supermodels setting an impossible standard; we don't need rich surgeons getting richer from our artifically induced insecurities!
The part of me that was sad, though, was sad because of what this new trend says about our culture and how much (or little) we truly value moms. I've had six children, and like I said, parts of me will never be the same. My 5' almost 11" frame won't see the inside of my size 10 wedding dress ever again. I probably won't see the inside of a size 10 period. My hips and my feet both are much wider than they used to be, and no plastic surgeon is going to be able to help that.
Parts of me are much smaller than before I had children. Other parts have folds that haven't gone away in spite of regular daily sit ups. Yet, my husband tells me how beautiful he thinks I am and how much he enjoys the parts that are smaller and the parts that aren't. I've never felt insecure or ugly because of what happened to my body as a result of becoming a mom. Indeed, I consider it a tremendous privilege and know many women who would give almost anything to see what their post-baby body would look like because they can't have children.
Perhaps we need a gentle reminder that life brings change. For any of us who live into old age, gravity will not be thwarted; we will have parts that sag and bag, with or without plastic surgery. We can do some things to help, to be sure, but nothing can stop the march of time. And perhaps such a goal is misdirected. The hand who rocks the cradle, it is said, is the hand who rules the world. Mothers of all sizes rock cradles holding future presidents, priests and kings. Women who mother children are beautiful, not because of what size they wear or how quickly they fit back into their pre-pregnancy clothes, but because of WHO they are and WHAT they are doing!! Perhaps the best thing we can do for post-baby body blues is not to turn to plastic surgeons, but to re-evaluate what we see as beautiful and to remember what a gift being a mother really is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)